the dog's bollocks (idiom, UK offensive): a rude phrase for something or someone that you think is extremely good... dictionary.cambridge.org
For the past couple of months I've had an incredibly hectic time at work, with my full year's teaching load falling into the July-November trimester. It was clear some R&R was going to be necessary, so when a convenient sale popped up, we pulled the trigger on flights to Samoa, keen to add this to our growing collection of Pacific Island destinations: Hawaii, New Caledonia, Niue, Fiji and Tasmania (twice, though some might argue it shouldn't count at all)!!
As is becoming horribly typical, I'd done little homework prior to our departure, aside from booking a base for the entire 6-night stay in Samoa's capital Apia, and ensuring our "fat tyred road bikes" aka Open U.P.s had a shakedown ride or two. We noted (yet again) battery discharge issues on Sarah's bike, but luckily Fraser's team at MyRide Wellington were able to source a replacement just in the nick of time.
My office at the Pipitea campus is right at the Lambton Quay bus station, and we've discovered that it makes a great launching pad, the Airport Express bus being a cheap, regular and fast way to get two bikes and their riders to the airport, and it is easy enough to drop bike bags to work the night before travelling.
Travel took much of the day, by virtue of a stopover in Auckland. Upon arrival at Faleolo Airport, I grabbed some cash from an ANZ ATM and we were soon on our way to our hotel in a taxi. We'd been quoted $80 for the 30km drive, and the driver claimed not to have change for the only local currency I had, a couple of $100 bills, one of which he ended up with. The rest of the trip reinforced the unlikelihood of this - almost all subsequent transactions were in cash, and it seemed inconceivable that the driver was being straight with us. Live and learn though, and from now on, I've made a commitment to only ever withdraw $190 from an ATM, thereby guaranteeing plenty of smaller bills!!!! (I do love being a maths geek.)
We were staying for the duration at Vaea Hotel Samoa, and this proved to be a great location, right on the outskirts of the centre of Apia, and within walking distance of the town centre, a fantastic coffee shop (Coffee Roaster Samoa), and a laundromat.
The next morning's priorities were route planning, bike assembly, and enjoyment of our first of a series of solid buffet breakfasts. The island road network was relatively simple, and the only variables seemed to be how long the few obvious loops were, and which direction of travel was best. After experimenting with a number of tools over the years, I now consistently get my base map from BBBike.org, and use Strava's phone app route builder (which most recently has a heatmap overlay which gives you a good sense of where cyclists typically go). I drafted up a bunch of loops, ranging from 50km to 120km (plus/minus change), and picked the shortest one for the day's mission (though not before setting out on foot, and returning with a single local SIM installed, plus some very solid coffee on board).
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| The basic road network in Upolu - one of two major islands in Samoa |
Day 1 (learning about the wind)
These days our legs tend to be pretty rusty leading into cycling holidays, so it made sense to ease into it. The ride started with a bit of ducking and diving through the outer suburbs of Apia, before the climb up Alafa'alava Road began. While there are many things that compete for a cyclists attention, I immediately found myself soaking up our surroundings, and in particular the points of difference that make cycling holidays so rich.
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| Some nifty garden art |
My advantage is always greatest at the beginning of these trips, given I've got three-and-a-half decades in my legs compared to Sarah's one. To make matters worse, while her body is happiest in cold air, mine seems to function best in the heat. I've learnt to somewhat keep my distance!
The road took us along a flat ridge, which rose away from Apia over about 15km to a high point of just shy of 400m above sea level. There was a wee bit of traffic to negotiate, and we quickly began to observe patterns - most drivers would give us a courtesy toot just before passing (often times quite close, but rarely at high speed).
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| One of a vast fleet of open-air buses, typically named after the village they serve, and all spectacularly painted |
At one of my many stops to wait for my cobber, I got to admire one of the very few cyclists we saw in our entire visit. His singlespeed gear was horribly unsuitable for a ramp I followed him up, and I was glad to see him taking a tactical walk. Had he not, I'd have feared getting hit by kneecap shrapnel.
We turned off the ridge soon after, and dropped down to the coastal airport road. There, we discovered a solid headwind which we would battle against most of the way back to Apia. The heat continued to trouble Sarah, so I kept my eye out for a bathing opportunity. I spotted some locals in a pool between the road and the ocean and stopped to wait for Sarah. I suggested she ask if it was OK to join them, and she got the all clear. Surprisingly, she reported that the water was fresh, and upon closer inspection, it looked like a stream flowing under the road had been dammed to create this wee swimming hole.
Near Apia, we had an opportunity to turn off the main road, and while this subjected us to a bit of climbing, we regularly changed direction and so did manage a bit of a break from the wind.
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| There were regular signs of development aid from China, Japan, Canada and NZ among others |
We won some and lost some on the way back to the hotel. No sooner had we passed through a stunning ford (in which some local kids were cooling down) than we got chased by a small pack of dogs!
I probably pushed things a little far by sneaking in a tiki tour of the waterfront area of Apia, and we finished up a bit battered. The good news was the day had marched on, so after washing up, we didn't have to wait too long to go out in search of dinner. A pizzeria on the waterfront seemed not to have any pizza on the menu, though it presumably had when it did its signwriting. We settled on a burger for him, and a plate of pasta for her, though Sarah's appetite was virtually non-existent which didn't bode well for the next ride. I managed to pry half a cheesecake into her, which surely was worth a few kilometres!
Stats: 59km ridden, temperature range 29-39 degrees, ignored by maybe half the dogs we passed
Day 2: up and over
The next morning, I decided we'd have a crack at the middle of three "cross island roads", and of the two actually named Cross Island Rd (at least as far as Google is concerned). This particular one includes the biggest climb - up to over 800m above sea level. We suited up straight after breakfast and in my excitement, I initially overlooked a planned coffee stop. Comedy ensued and I had to exit flight mode for the only time of the trip to work out where Sarah had vanished to!
The climb began immediately, and it was obviously going to be tough - it was pretty rampy, with the gradient constantly changing (and not always for the better), and the sun was already out in force. I mostly left Sarah to it behind me, but scoped out regular stops, either at shops to pick up a cold drink, or in the shade somewhere.
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| Neither a cold drink store, nor shady, but a brief opportunity to let the legs recharge! |
Very near the summit was a small convenience store, and while I waited for Sarah I began chatting to the owner, a fellow who'd spent a number of years living in Hamilton. Once recomposed, we knocked out the mellow remains of the climb, and began a fast run down to the coast. Towards the bottom, there were significant road works, and it was nice to be on fat tyres.
Once down at the intersection with the Main South Coast Road, we hung a left, and began a slow plod into the prevailing easterly wind. The combination of headwind, heat, low appetite and whopping climb in the legs were all taking their toll on Sarah, and so a side trip to see the Togitogiga waterfall provided some welcome relief. We joined a few others bathing in the pool, before heading back out to battle. Well past the point of no return, Sarah discovered a missing drink bottle, which was a nuisance but not a deal breaker. The convenience stores seemed more than frequent enough for us to be able to cope with 3 bottles between us and so I didn't go back in search for it.
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| Post-dip below the Togitogiga waterfall |
Despite seeing number of signs for the To-Sua Ocean Trench, we were oblivious to what we were missing out on when we turned away from the coast to begin the return crossing to the north coast. This was probably a blessing in disguise for a few reasons - it remains one further great reason to go back to Samoa; taking a mid-ride dip in cycling clothing in sea water seems like a bad idea (and we hadn't packed togs); and we probably would have chewed up more time and energy than we actually had available.
This second climb was almost identical in profile to the previous day's effort, but with better scenery!
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| Cows grazing under coconut trees |
Nearing the top, a sign to another waterfall seemed worth checking out. I waited for Sarah there, and after paying a local fellow a hefty koha each, we enjoyed a wee bit of off-road riding which turned out to be well worth the effort.
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| Fuipisia Waterfall |
As spectacular as it was to approach, the view from the top of the waterfall was remarkable. Below was a deep and lush valley which really was quite breathtaking. Oh, nature...!
We had a bit of a poke around, and Sarah took the opportunity to cool herself once more by taking a dip (well away from the edge).
Once back on the road, we didn't have much more climbing to do, and soon found ourselves at Lemafa Pass. We stopped to soak in the view, and Sarah spoke briefly to a couple who were taking a rest there (despite driving up the hill!!). Beyond lay a fast descent, and a stonking tail wind back to Apia.
Nonetheless, it had been a tough ride, especially for Sarah. We settled on a nearby Indian restaurant for dinner, and I was pleased to see she ate a bit more than the previous evening.
Stats: 97km ridden, two swims, two hills, and 23-35 degrees.
Day 3 - Sunday special
I did a bit of a shop the evening before for ride snacks, figuring it was entirely possible the whole island would be at church or doing family stuff for the duration of our ride. As it turned out, probably half the shops we passed were open, and there was no need to have stressed.
I took good advantage of some hard-won on-road-lessons, and decided to use the local conditions to our best advantage. I planned to first use the easterly to push us along the flat to the western end of the island, and then to climb up onto the central ridge, and use the descent into Apia to offset the headwind. Piece of cake!
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| Passing the pool Sarah had swum in a couple of days earlier, it was interesting to see it inundated by the ocean. Presumably it would revert to a freshwater swim by low tide. |
The ride began with our first outbound trip along the airport road, and while it was noticeably quieter than the previous two days, people were still out and about. As the airport came into view, an Air New Zealand flight was taxiing to the gate and I was a bit bummed not to have seen it land. Cowering from a bit of rain quarter of an hour earlier had slowed us down a touch!
A couple of kilometres past the airport was the Mulifanua Wharf, at which we stopped to snack, and I watched a ferry dock. It had been in view ever since we'd left Apia, and had been shadowing us along the coast, presumably en route from American Samoa to the east.
While the churches between Apia and the airport had typically had full carparks, the western end of the island seemed much quieter. Maybe people had retired home by now, or maybe the homes in the villages weren't all inhabited.
The first ramp turned out to be only the beginning, and the segment named "Heart Attack Hill" on Strava turned out to be quite an arduous treat that served to remind me of my better years!!!
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| 20% on a pushbike requires a fair bit of effort, not least when you've got one hand off the bars!! |
I ditched my bike at the saddle, and walked back down the road a bit to wait for Sarah, who was along directly. She seemed in reasonably good spirits, despite (or maybe because) needing to walk a few stretches.
We had a quick drop back down to near sea level, and a few more minutes pedaling into the headwind before hanging a left to begin our climb up to the start of the ridge. This was an impromptu short cut, so I wasn't sure what to expect.
The road turned out to be immediately unsealed, and initially very mellow. After a stop for a wee, the rough surface became hellishly steep, and I was glad to be out of earshot, but otherwise having fun wrestling my steed up the hill - maintaining power and traction required care. For a long while I was dreading a descent, which would have turned my shortcut into an unmitigated failure (at least from Sarah's perspective). I was relieved that it climbed all the way to the main road, so at least when she finally arrived I was able to report that we were over half the way up the climb.
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| Before things got crazy... |
While we'd had rain and lower temperatures at the start of the ride (when we weren't working particularly hard), the sun was now out in force, and a supermarket not far up the road made for a welcome ice-cream and drink stop.
Not far beyond that, we passed a few of the island's more curious trees - they looked like Nikau Palms on steroids - very similar shape, but much larger with thicker trunks and fronds. That in and of itself had been surprising, but the really weird bit was that many looked like someone had planted an apple tree in the crown of the tree.
These examples were great, because the "apples" had been falling to the ground. Closer inspection revealed what appeared to be the love-child of an armadillo and an avocado.
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| An avodillo? Armacado? |
In good spirits, we soon found ourselves enjoying a mellow descent to the intersection with the western end of Alafa'alava Road. After climbing for a short while into a head wind, we eventually hit pay-dirt, by way of a 20km descent all the way into Apia during which we only rarely had to turn a pedal.
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| I love watching Sarah pass horses. Her body language betrays her absolute delight |
Despite some incredibly stern gradients, and the eventual heat, we seemed to be adjusting nicely to life back on the road. In addition, we'd both noticed that dogs had seemed particularly chilled out, so maybe they were taking a religious break along with the vast majority of the human population. We'd received good advice from the coffee roaster the morning before (who also happened to be the captain of the local cycling club), namely, to ignore them. It took some doing, especially when there were dogs plural snapping and snarling around your ankles, but it seemed obvious that the advice was informed by some nasty crashes over the years. The spirit of the advice was that you were at greater risk of losing control of the bike than you were of getting bitten.
While recovering by the pool, we got chatting to another Kiwi couple who were staying at VHS, and they offered us a lift up the hill to an actual pizza joint that they'd booked at (Giordana's - open Wednesday to Sunday). We first managed to book a table, but ended up dining with Julia and Michael, and enjoying both the food and chit-chat.
Stats: 92km ridden, wind successfully cheated, and gradients both for and against us. 25-36 degrees. (Only one cheeky swim, despite the "ban" on Sundays - Sarah just happened to "slip over" when crossing a ford...)
Day 4 - tourist (recovery) day
First spot on the list was the Robert Louis Stevenson museum in Vailima (not to be confused with the one in California!). Rather than completely take the day off and use local taxis, we rode up the Cross Island Road for a few kilometres. By the time we got to the museum my shirt was drenched, thanks to the 200 vertical metres, plus the morning temperature. We arrived a minute or two after a tour had begun, so joined that after leaving our bikes under the watchful eye of a gardening crew.
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| This was the home of Robert Louis Stevenson for 3 years until his death in 1894 |
The tour was interesting, including the curious (and very regular) pronunciation of "Rob-blu-iss" by our knowledgeable young guide. The library was my highlight, and contained a few first editions of his work, as well as numerous other copies (including translated versions).
After the tour, we spent the next hour doing a bush-walk up to his grave, which gave me a good opportunity to do some more sweating. Mercifully, we were in pretty dense forest the whole way, and the much cooler air temperature took the edge off the effort.
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| If at first you don't succeed.... |
Once back at the homestead, we got our cycling shoes back on and blatted back down the hill to the coffee shop for lunch. I lucked out (a good thing, would you believe) by ordering a fish wrap, much to the envy of Sarah whose tuna sandwich was less to her liking.
Next stop were the Papaseea Sliding Rocks, which too involved a bit of climbing and a lot more sweating - the place looks so flat on a map! I was amazed to only be charged $5 each (about half the price of a good coffee at the roaster's place, and equivalent to only $3 NZD) despite the quality of the attraction and its uniqueness.
After a very steep flight of steps down to the river, we found about 15 people in the process of picnicking, sliding and spectating as a few brave souls demonstrated the sliding rocks. We retired to the top pool, and had it to ourselves for the duration of our visit. The water was cool and clear, and the pool was in the shade - perfect!
I had a couple of goes at the top slide, and before leaving, had a bit of a poke around below, noticing another couple of chutes which looked like further candidates for getting wet. Passing, we headed back up the stairs to find our bikes unmolested. Given that and the modest fee, I gave the attendant another 10 tala, which she seemed delighted by.
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| A local market on the way home, with an interesting mix of provisions |
We got hit by a brief downpour on the way back to the hotel. Unfortunately, I was wearing a new white shirt which had been perfect when it was drenched in sweat (who could tell?!) but was now covered in road splatter. Finding a laundromat was high on the agenda after we got washed up, and it was also a good opportunity to get our riding gear properly washed.
Once the laundry situation was sorted, we decided to treat ourselves to a date night, in the form of fine dining at Bistro Tatau. The food was exquisite, and we chose well, sharing oka (Samoan ceviche) to start, and some chocolate cloud cake (which was like eating the most delicious cloud ever) to finish. I had salmon in between, and was so in rapture that I'll pretend I didn't even notice what Sarah ate.
Stats: a mere 31km ridden, a couple of great tourist attractions seen, and a spot of walking and swimming to add to the mix.
Day 5 - Giant Clams
Our dinner companions of a couple of nights earlier had mentioned snorkeling at a giant clam sanctuary earlier that day, and this seemed like a perfect focal point for our final ride of the trip. I mounted a saddle bag into which went our togs, and after a good breakfast, we got underway.
Our second ascent of the (big) Cross Island Road was a very different experience to the first. It was a bit cooler, but more importantly, Sarah had been eating much better, and we now had 250km in our legs so were both better practiced.
I stopped once in a while to regroup with Sarah, but rarely had to wait long, and we were soon getting underway again.
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| Baha'i House of Worship Samoa |
About three-quarters of the way up the hill, Sarah was keen for something cold, and found on google maps a convenience store very near to where we were resting. A couple of minutes later she was enjoying an ice-cream and a cold drink, and was grateful for both.
I was sorely tempted to do a side trip to see Lake Lanoto'o, but while only "3km" from the main road, it definitely would involve some hike-a-bike, and the internet even warned of leeches en route. The uncertain time and effort required put me off (not to mention the critters) and it remains in the list of reasons to go back to Samoa!
Over the top and true to form, we spent a few minutes riding in the cloud, before hitting the roadworks again, and safely reading the South Coast Road intersection.
This time we turned right, which we now knew would bring with it the benefit of a tail wind. Our first time along this stretch, we realised this was where many of the island's resorts were lurking, though otherwise things weren't much different to the parts of the island we'd already seen.
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| Another of the stranger trees to look at. A similar smaller species had fruit which resembled cucumbers |
Our sense of anticipation grew as we approached the village of Savaia, where we expected to find the clam sanctuary. My excitement led to temporary deterioration of my navigational skills, and we had to backtrack briefly when a "road" on my Garmin map looked indiscernible from people's yards.
We duly arrived to find three young men sitting in a shelter with some snorkeling equipment alongside. It was available to hire, and we were assured there was "free parking" for our bikes! Ushered to the changing rooms across the way, and asked to shower first if we were wearing sun-cream, we were soon swimming.
The location of the giant clams was marked with a flag-pole type arrangement, and about two thirds of the way there, we crossed a rope marking the beginning of the juvenile (or otherwise non-giant) clams. These were themselves spectacular, and the variation in colour was fascinating. When we reached the big ones, things definitely went up a couple of notches! Their size was one thing (probably at least a metre end-to-end), but also the structures in the soft-tissue, which included a couple of vents through which you could see the base of the hinge... It was hard to tell exactly what we were looking at, and how it all came to be, but it was nonetheless glorious.
Unfortunately, we didn't have a camera with us, but you can check out photos from other visitors here. Including the snorkel hire, we paid only $50, which was incredible value. It was a bit of a grab-and-go affair, and we didn't spend long in the water. An hour earlier, there'd been a lot of cloud cover and even a few showers, but unfortunately the sun had come out by the time we'd arrived and I knew I'd get roasted if we stayed in too long.
Once changed, we had a nice chat to the single local who'd remained on duty. He seemed a fascinating young man (born in 2000, same as Kaitlyn and Khulan), full of surprises, including that he'd been an elite badminton player, and had competed for Samoa internationally. These days, he told us, "he loves to eat", and it seems that his rep days are behind him!
Sightseeing done, we began our climb, again bound for the head-wind cheating ridge back into Apia. I stopped for some shade just below where we'd emerged onto this road a couple of days prior. Then, I'd tried something similar, and attracted unwanted attention by virtue of a barking dog - mortifying, as until that point, the village seemed to be enjoying some quiet time. Today's attention came by virtue of four small boys who appeared fascinated by the large, strangely clad palagi and his steed.
While the horse wasn't in its paddock (or at least it wasn't near the road), a spectacular tree across the road hadn't moved, and I waited for Sarah beneath it.
Before getting changed, I packed the bikes up, ready for the trip back to the airport the next day. In the meantime, we booked seats at the weekly cultural show down on the waterfront. There, we were served a range of local foods on a magnificent (in multiple senses) biodegradable plate, before enjoying a show which included some impressive ailao afi (fire dancing) among other things.
Stats: a bit too much food eaten, after a 82km ride, punctuated by a 300m swim (not on Strava)!
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The airport transfer the next day went well, and our transport strategy seemed a good one. While out on a mission to buy some souvenirs, to drink a good coffee, and to consume a couple of known-to-be-delicious fish wraps, we kept an eye out for a taxi with an immense boot. One spotted, we booked the driver for a trip to the airport.
As a mid-winter getaway, the trip had been a godsend. It was nice to mostly be able to check out from work, and being warm while all hell was breaking loose at home (weather wise) was nice. Our accommodation was great, we'd enjoyed some good food, done some great riding, and had a decent amount of non-bike activities. As usual, Sarah's company was perfect.
Logistics were simple, with English spoken well enough by those we needed to interact with, and convenience stores were both abundant on the road, and harboured a good supply of cold drink and other sustenance. The format is a surprisingly rare one for us, with the vast majority of our trips involving a more traditional new-place-every-night cycle tour, which has both its pros and cons in terms of gear and how to store it.
There were a few negatives though.
The dogs were a drag, but could have been a lot, lot worse. Probably about a quarter of them were totally chilled out and ignored us completely. Another quarter we'd sneak up on, and after flinching in fright, they'd consistently slink off in shame. The remaining half would harass us in some way, and some were easier to ignore than others. We each ended up with dog saliva on our shoe on one occasion (different dog), but would have said we were more "mouthed" than bitten.
The other real drag was the horrifying amount of rubbish around, almost all of the plastic variety. Some villages were pristine, but many weren't, and it was both shocking and depressing to see. While homes all seemed made out of modern materials, the way people were living in the villages looked very traditional (i.e., I'm guessing that it has been like that for as long as the islands have been inhabited). The clash between what seemed like traditional life with modern waste all over the place constantly grated on me.
Rubbish and dogs aside, the scenery was lovely. The island is prepping for CHOGM in November, and in particular "the King's visit", and to that end, people are putting a lot of effort into getting their gardens in order. Volcanic rock has been put to good use by many, and the local plants have a nice colour palette from which to choose. 10/10 gardening abounds.
The vegetation was fascinating as noted occasionally above, but we didn't see much animal or birdlife. There was an interesting and relatively common flightless bird that looked like a mini weka, and we occasionally caught a splash of colour in a bird on the wing. I was surprised to also see a pūkeko and wondered what the Samoans call it. Otherwise, we saw chickens and a few pigs alongside the road, and cows and horses in paddocks. I imagine monkeys and snakes would love it in Samoa, but I guess it is the better for their absence.
I am sure we will visit again. To-Sua Ocean Trench is a must-see, and there's a marine reserve in Apia itself I didn't notice until it was too late. Also, everyone we spoke to raved about the neighbouring island of Savai'i and it seems like that would make a lovely mini-tour destination (about 200km for a circumnavigation). We think the daughters would love it, so may force it on them at some point as a family holiday!!! The Tour of Samoa was winding up just as we were getting started, and I couldn't completely rule out signing up in the future.
Finally, if you were taken aback by the blog title, I didn't see any bee's knees, but I sure as hell saw plenty of dogs' bollocks. In fact, it took me a while to click to why the sight of uncastrated dogs was so remarkable, but I eventually realised that you virtually never see "intact" male dogs in New Zealand these days. It doesn't take a PhD in statistics to connect the number of dogs on the island to the number of dogs' balls, though there's some chicken-and-egg-type causality issues to wade through. Maybe something to ponder next time!!!!
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| 360km of high quality riding. Thanks for the memories Upolu! |
